When not to apologise during an epic cock-up

The scenario: My boss recently asked me to book her place at a conference we were both attending. As I was booking mine anyway, I obliged, although it took ages.

(As an aside, online booking should make things easier and less bureaucratic. If it’s taking twice as long as it would take over the phone, your customer does not benefit. You do, because it’s cheaper than employing resource to deal with customer calls – but how much business do you lose? This is a false economy, like shoes from New Look. In both examples, people can tell you’ve economised and subsequently think you are cheap, which devalues your brand.)

Her confirmation email came through, showing she’d been bumped to a much less nice chain hotel for the conference as the main place was overflowing. I sympathised, but I didn’t apologise: this was her responsibility to sort out, not mine. It got me to thinking – there are some scenarios in which you should never apologise, however British you may be feeling.

You should sympathise, not apologise, when:

It’s outside your sphere of responsibility – I’m not a PA, so it’s not my job to sort out accommodation. You need to be careful with this one: no-one wants to be perceived as a grudging employee, but if you say yes to these requests too often, you set the precedent that it is ok to ask you to pick up admin tasks. Don’t apologise, but do help them find the tools to sort out the problem. I responded with sympathy – and then followed up with the number for the conference organiser.

It’s someone else’s fault – no-one likes to be apologised for! Go with a diplomatic “oh no, that sounds like a nightmare” rather than grovelling on a colleague’s behalf. The exception is when it is one of the people you manage who has cocked-up. In this situation, you are The Boss – and therefore should have seen it coming. Apologise that “we dropped the ball on this one” and move on.

Your employment will depend on not apologising/admitting culpability. Caught watching porn on a work laptop in your downtime? Always say your flatmate did it. Apologise for allowing the vile beast to get his depraved hands on the esteemed property of the company – but you should never fess up to this one. Your future employers are not scouring the market for brilliant managers who are sex fiends. Also, don’t do this. It’s really silly.